WARNING THIS IS VERY PERSONAL
Hi girls! (and guys)! this Monday i want to have a personal conversation with my sweet followers about the test and the blessing. Today i just recently finished watching a service of my new favorite pastor Steven Furtick. Honestly all of his services and teaching speak right at my heart but his wife did a service talking about the test and the blessing (I will link it at the end of this blog post) and it spoke right at my heart.
I am only 18 years old as you guys know, and with that same reason i am pretty sure you guys might think.. “WHAT SHE BEEN THROUGH?” OR “SHE IS SO YOUNG TO BE GOING THROUGH SO MUCH” let me resume what i am going through (which is a lot) and i will do a video about this but i wanted this heart to heart to be about my present life situation.
Me and my dad never had a great relationship. Once a came to NY i had to live with my step mom which did many horrible things to me and my siblings and i had to live with that torment for 7 years. It made me emotionally depressed and i suffered so much because of it. I was okay for the first 2 years because my dad had our back, he protected us from all her evil things and promised us that we were going to move very soon. Well that didn’t happen. I used to pray every night asking God to do something about it because i was at a point in my life that if that kept happening for any longer i was going to do something to myself that i might regret. Once i met my boyfriend he has been my angel. He helped me to get my mind out of that house and he truly helped me forget even though i had to see their face everyday.
The past 2 years have honestly been the worst 2 years of my life because i completely lost my dad. I was alone and hopeless. Honestly at that point in my life i thought my situation was never going to change. This year my little brother became christian because of one of his closest friend introduced him to his church. (How i became christian will be a different blog post). Eventually i started going as well because he was making me go (he forced me to go) When i went to church and gave my heart to christ… I can’t even put it into words how much faith i had for my life. That truly was a blessing because i’ve never been the same ever since.
I moved out of my house a little over 3 weeks ago and i am not going through a very smooth and easy ride because my life changed 360. But i know that soon i will see the blessing from God because this is a test. It might be 6 months, 1 year, 5 years and i will be here, still taking this test of life but one thing i know is that i am not alone because someone greater than any of my worries, any of my problems is looking after me. I am also not changing my dad because we get caught up in the idea that we have to change the person who we care so much but have made us suffer the most. We can’t do that to ourselves. So dad i Forgive you. And last but not least i have to be patient because i have my end goal engraved in my mind. I know my blessing is right around the corner.
In conclusion, yes life can be so unfair. Yes you have probably gone through worst things than i am going through at the moment but when you know that God is watching over you. When you have FAITH in his promises GIRL!!!!! you will be so happy although of all the worries and problems you might be facing! Be happy and remember that we are in this world for a reason, that you and me are here together through it all and we will see the blessing.
I love you forever,